Broken but Ready to Dance

This weekend something broke. It was me. That damn thing between my ears ain’t right.

Thankfully, I have an amazing support system and I’m taking time this week to try to pull my shit together.

Yeah, there’s a ton of stuff going on. Left my job to pursue my passion for nonprofit work. Established 4 Your Cause, Minnesota Hockey Fights Cancer and SoFeyen 73 to support that direction.

PANDEMIC.

Sports stop, kids in homeschool, society separating each day further to their asinine right and left corners.

F’in politics being used as a argument for defining the corners when in reality morality and social conscience are the domains truly at stake.

Gol Darn money and economics driving what should be social conscience. Where we will come together to do whatever it takes to overcome the immense weight of the almighty dollar.

Me vs You. When us should be the focus.

No sleeping, at least at night. Nodding off all day long to take breaks from my life and shoving aside the things that should be most important.

Increased bickering from familiarity built contempt.

Neighbor against neighbor, because for some reason I’m an ass for having too much focus on others and that is me being selfish and disrespectful. Kids being caught in between putting forth political stances and protests.

People making up things in their own heads about what I may think about them as a person.

I gave up holding grudges a long time ago, because the only person that they hurt was me.

Unfortunately, now I see what people perceive me to be, not only hurting my acceptance.

It’s hurting my kids acceptance and ultimately my anxiety draws conclusions of diminishing opportunity for them in some arenas.

I step further back in the hope that cooler heads may prevail. Unfortunately, I see increasing heads turning away, mean spirited glances.

Minnesota Nice is a bullshit concept. It’s veiled contempt, passive aggressiveness, hate and a lack of willingness to get out of the f’in corners and dance.

I don’t mean fight or argue. I mean dance.

Unwillingness to make a fool of ourselves. Dance while the world is watching. Dance while we come to agreement on what it means to be a human being.

Dance towards a place that we all care about whether someone lives or dies. That life matters, that people matter, that without that as our sole focus that we are lost as a society.

Make no mistake, we are lost. Every single one of us.

I fear we are so lost that we will never find ourselves and what it means to be us.

I know I am lost.

As long as there is one person lost, I believe we are all lost. Because I believe us is a team.

Is there a solution, probably not. It seems like a permanently lost cause.

So, how to move on.

Do not doubt for a second that I will move on.

There is far too much at stake for the life that I share with my family. Of course at the center of that there is my wife and children. However, I am blessed with a very large circle.

The word “circle” has great meaning, because there is no corners to hide in.

And so I say to all of you, my family, let’s dance.

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